Cringe Moments In Wellness: When To Run

You’ve experienced it: on your yoga mat, in a massage, or in a Reiki session.

That somewhat vulnerable moment…

as a student or client in the wellness space when you put your trust in someone else to guide your experience. You nervously put aside your doubts and place your trust and safety with the alleged expert before you.

Sadly (frustratingly), I can think of multiple instances when the person I’ve entrusted my wellness experience to fell short. Maybe it was their word choice (“Just relax!”), presence (looming), or even their touch (awkward downward facing dog adjustment!) that caused me unrest. In these vulnerable moments, the supportive, honest communication I needed went south. Real south. (Shout-out to the doctor that told me it’s no big deal if my hormones are imbalanced as long as I never wanted kids.)

I get heated when people feel disempowered, particularly in wellness spaces. I get downright apoplectic when wellness practitioners’ language and communication are vague, confusing, or even abusive.

Words have energy. Presence has energy. Touch has energy.

You deserve to feel confident and informed when you put your trust in someone. And while referrals and trial and error sometimes work, you’re the best guide of your needs.

Here’s your supportive checklist for your next wellness appointment.

You have the right to:

• information

Be it from the practitioner’s website, a consultation call, or a comprehensive email, you deserve information regarding the service and what it entails from start to finish, particularly regarding anything sensitive. (I’ve had to change into a hospital gown for certain acupuncture appointments and would have greatly preferred a head’s up before I mooned everyone in the office. Someone else also incorporated Reiki into my massage session, and though it felt wonderful, I was also very WTF.)

A trusted practitioner should support your experience prior to booking, during the appointment, and through aftercare.

Ask more questions before you agree to anything. Some frustration is avoidable. - @dr.thema

• be heard (or remain silent)

A wellness practitioner should prioritize your needs and concerns rather than talk over you. If you’re not offered an intake form, ask for time to talk to the provider before the session begins.

And you can maintain your privacy. If you’re not ready to discuss something personal, particularly with a new provider, honor that. It may be, “I’m not ready to address that yet,” or “I’d like to think on that to discuss later.”

• say NO

Saying no to someone else is saying yes to yourself.

- Judith Hanson Lasater (channeling Dolly vibes)

I love this reminder (particularly when social interaction feels draining). My acupuncturist ends every session with an oily scalp massage which, I have to presume, other people enjoy. Not me - I have to rewash my hair, and the oil causes breakouts. I was shy at first to refuse the “signature service” but am thankful I eventually spoke up. Now, I can have the acupuncture session my body needs without fear of a glob of oil running down my neck at the end.

An experienced wellness practitioner will amend a session to accommodate your needs, and you should never feel pressured.

• to leave

Yep. Walk out. It’s hard to do, so if you’re extra polite, toss in the ‘ol, “I’m sorry - I just got an emergency call and have to leave immediately” excuse. The universe will forgive you.

Not exactly “wellness,” (I mean, eyebrow maintenance is self-care) but I recall a beauty service I booked with a new eyebrow artist. When I arrived at the appointment, I saw immediately that the space was dirty, and the provider herself had mis-drawn, uneven eyebrows. That’s a polite “No thank you” from me, so I offered to pay for the very late cancelation and left. I think of leaving an appointment like singing bad karaoke - it’s embarrassing at first, but no one will remember within 24 hours.

Aforementioned in mind, there are times a slight departure from your comfort zone may be worth the outcome. We can benefit from new experiences that help us grow. Better said:

Trust yourself first, but not only. - Judith Hanson Lasater

Confident alignment with your wellness choices invites practices that support, nurture, and develop you.

Reflection: Place your left hand on your heart, then your right hand over your left.
Breathe into your heart-space, letting your palms rise and fall with your inhales and exhales.

Alignment: Remind yourself that you possess innate wisdom, and you deserve practices aligned with your highest self.
Anything that does not serve you may fall away.

If you’ve experienced abuse from a practitioner, please reach out to foundations like Path Matching for help.

If I can be of support, email me.

More on this month’s topic here.